Recipe: Word Sallads by Kamala Harris

Trying to keep a straight face :D

A gourmet guide to political discourse, seasoned with repetition and garnished with confusion

Base Ingredients

Start with a generous helping of repetitive phrases - "Donald Trump Donald Trump Donald Trump" works perfectly. For best results, ensure each "Donald Trump" is emphasized with slightly different intonation, creating a symphony of redundancy. Toss in some geographical confusion by mixing your NATO flanks: "Northern flank on the Eastern flank about the Eastern flank." This creates a delightfully dizzy base for your word salad.

The Art of Seasoning

Season liberally with filler words. The key is to use "um" and "you know" as frequently as possible, preferably every third word. These verbal spices add a distinctive flavor that keeps your audience guessing about what might come next.

Special Sauces

AI Reduction Sauce

For the signature AI reduction sauce, simplify complex technology: "It's kind of a fancy thing it's first of all it's two letters oh give me a break." This adds a delightfully dismissive flavor to your word salad, reducing complex technological concepts to their absolute simplest form - preferably just the acronym.

Responsibility Vinaigrette

When asked about mistakes, prepare a quick responsibility vinaigrette by combining equal parts deflection and projection: "You make lots of mistakes too." This tangy dressing pairs perfectly with any challenging question.

Advanced Techniques

The Market-Moving Marinade

Soak your statements in confidence: "My words could move markets." Don't worry if the markets seem unaffected - the key is in the declaration, not the actual impact.

The Representation Roux

For a thick, rich base, stir in vague references to representation: "We were what we were talking about is representation and why it matters." Keep stirring until the meaning becomes pleasantly obscured.

Garnishes and Presentation

• Sprinkle with unnecessary clarifications of obvious concepts

• Add a dash of circular logic

• Garnish with awkward pauses for dramatic effect

• Serve with a side of confident confusion

Perfect Pairings

Your word salad pairs excellently with:

• Raised eyebrows

• Puzzled expressions

• Social media confusion

• Viral video compilations

• Late-night comedy monologues

Chef's Special Tips

1. Remember, repetition is your friend. If you've said something once, say it at least three more times.

2. When in doubt, create new words or phrases. The English language is merely a suggestion.

3. Never let clarity get in the way of a good word salad.

Warning: Consumption of this word salad may lead to temporary confusion, chronic head-scratching, and an irresistible urge to fact-check simple statements.

Serving Suggestions

Serve immediately to a bewildered audience, preferably during prime-time news hours or important diplomatic meetings. For best results, maintain unwavering confidence regardless of the coherence level.

Nutritional Information: Contains 0% clear messaging, 100% pure confusion, and a healthy dose of unintentional entertainment. Not recommended for those seeking straightforward political discourse.

Remember, as with any fine culinary creation, practice makes perfect. The more you prepare these word salads, the more naturally the ingredients will flow together into a perfectly incomprehensible masterpiece.